TheProtagonist5

So, um...yea...Living in Chicago

My Wedding Day A Summary
Me
[info]theprotagonist5


I wanted to write an archive summary of my wedding day because these moments are forgotten all too fast. I got married to Steve on July 11, 2009 in Wheaton, IL. 

We had the rehersal on Friday at 5:30 pm at the church and then a laid back buffet style dinner at Steve's parent's house in Glen Ellyn after. A lot of relatives from across the country came in to see the wedding and the rehersal dinner was the first chance I had to meet them. Steve's Aunt Evie and Aunt Carol were visiting as well as his Aunt Ruth and Uncle John (JR). He also had some cousins in town, Daniela and Ryan with their kids. All three bridesmaids and groomsmen were there also at the dinner. It seemed like there were a lot of people to talk with and catch up with in conversations.

The actual wedding day started early. Steve set the alarm for 7:30 knowing I had to be at the hair/makeup place at 9am. Yes, we were in the same house, we felt like we didn't need to be elaborate and spend days apart beforehand. I think I rolled out of bed at 8am and left at 9:00ish. I got there at 9:15 thinking I was late and was suprised they were not really even ready for me. Susan was already half done with her hair by that time and Amy was getting started. Both had very cute styles they were doing. I ended up sitting around until 9:30 and not getting my hair completed until 10:30am. Then I had to wait another 1/2 hour for the makeup lady since she was working on someone at the time. I started makeup at 11am and was finished at 12pm. I was supposed to have been done at 10:30 am or 11am. I was supposed to be at the church at 11:30 and was way late.

The makeup looked ok but the hair was a bit weird for me. They decided without asking me that I should have a bunch of fake hair extensions shoved in my head to make it look like I had a ton of hair and a beehive in the back of my head. Yes the end result did get a lot of compliments but it did freak me out to have alien head behind me all day and hitting the seat in the car. Why don't they ask the person who's hair they are actually doing? It was too late by the time I realized what they were doing to make them re-do it and make us even later than we were.

I actually got there at 12:30pm and was just jumping into my dress when the photographer found us and asked for the dress to take pictures of it hanging. Ugh. I know we have to do the picture thing but this was making us even later. I would find out later that this was a critical scheduling mistake and making sure you have vendors that will listen to you about scheduling things is very important. If things are behind schedule people have to be willing to cut stuff off the plans to make up time when dinners are concerned. this is about the time the Florist walked in with the flowers. They were amazing. Purple mokara and vanda orchids everywhere with some purple stock, black callas and pink roses scattered throughout. (And some rhinestones suspended on wires.)

Anyway, we finally got my dress back and she then wanted to do pix of me in the dress in a small chapel there, and in front of a large mirror in the main room of the church house. Then we had the "reveal" as they call it where Steve and I get to see eachother for the first time that day. This took longer than expected also, and I was not able to keep them on schedule because they said I was not allowed to wear my watch because it looked bad in pictures. (if you can, wear your watch!) The photos may end up being nice but involved a lot of posing for a long time when they would change all the settings on the camera for like 5 minutes before taking the shots, I am pretty sure no natural smiles were captured during the entire day. After Steve and I saw eachother and realized hey, we're the same people we always are, we went to the church for the group/family pictures. There again we took too long and didn't get them all in because of how long it took to stage the setup of people, the setup of lighting equipment and the camera itself. Also we blinked sometimes at the flash, and had to do this close our eyes until she counted to 3 and then open them when the picture was flashing thing which doesn't get a decent smile because we have our eyes closed. I am afraid these pics will also look weird and everyone will look tired.

The most frustrating thing was that we asked everyone (both sets of parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen and 2 ushers) to be there for the pictures at 1 pm. We didn't start until 1:45 and then didn't do group shots until the last 10 minutes or so. Basically it looked like I just wasted all those people's time and told them to come when they weren't needed. I wish the Photographer would have done the group ones first and then ours later when we had time or whenever other people weren't standing around waiting. How come photographers never realize this? 

So then we had to go back to our seperate areas again at 2:30 because people were arriving and entering the church. And the ushers (MIke and Simon) went off to greet them) We used some of that time to take some interesting pictures on a staircase in the church house and to eat because we didn't have any other opportunity to eat until like 7:30 pm that night. We joked that bagels were the only food that could not ruin a dress, so that was what we had to bring in. I also tried to fix my dress which seemed to not want to stay up quite right. I would find out later that sitting in a dress with a full corset is not a good idea, it breaks the structure and shoves my bustline upwards and out of the dress innapropriatley.

You might think by this point that I was pissed, and annoyed by how things were going, but really I was just trying to make it through all these prescribed set events that had to happen, per tradition, per the church and per the photographer and we never quite made it to everything. Every once in a while I would get a glimpse in the mirror of the flowers or the dress and think it didn't really look like me. I'm nowhere near this girly. It was kind of like playing a part in a movie, with a lot of staging and sets and scripts. Steve and I decided on a hollywood wedding not quite knowing it at the time. The videographer was also tailing us through the entire day. I did know that both moms liked how things looked and turned out, so  that was good. At least someone thought this was going well.

The ceremony had an odd start too. I got there just as they were starting the mothers walk down the isle escorted by my brother Scott and Steve's brother Brian. They lit the unity candle and then waited for the rest of us. The guests were still arriving late (as people do in my family) and the organist started early throwing us off. Then the pastor and groomsmen missed their 3 chime queue to walk out and the coordinator had to sprint under the church in the secret hallway to tell them to get out there. Then the organist also started into the main processional too early and we were late starting that as well. Oh, well at least we all got down the isle. Even with a rehersal this never goes perfectly. Too many requirements for staging things means something is bound to go wrong. I walked down with my dad and was a bit teary with all the people there that I saw. Steve's mom slipped a kleenex in my dad's hand while we were stopped at the end of the isle and he passed it to me. Nobody noticed. (I think) Then my dad gave me a kiss on the cheek and passed me on to Steve. Steve jumped the gun and tried to do the same kiss and the pastor said he had to wait, it wasn't time to do that yet, and everyone laughed.

The ceremony was nice and not too long. It involved a welcoming statement, a statement of intent from us, a statement from the parents and a statement of support from the entire congregation. Then Pastor Jay went into some descriptions of why we were here today and what all this really means. Then we moved further up on the steps and he talked more about us specifically and read from some emails we sent to him earlier in the week. I had no idea that he would read them verbatim. I liked that one of the things Steve wrote was that he loved the way she loves me. Pastor Jay thought that would make a great Lionel Richey song. Then we did the vows repeating after the pastor and I think Steve's microphone for the videographer picked up most of that from both of us. When it was all over I asked Steve if that was his car stereo in his front pocket and he said it was the microphone and I get that was all on tape.

We kissed at the top steps of the altar and walked back down the isle with the wedding party following us. Then we walked up the side isle to come back up front to greet everyone as they exited the isles. It was nice to see everyone in person at this point and have an informal recieveing line of sorts but what I did not know is that about 15% of the people did not come to the church so they were not greeted and we missed them until I randomly ran into them at the reception.  Then we walked back to the altar to take some pictures with the pastor and lastly we walked out into a sea of bubbles on the front steps of the church and into the car. Those sale price Target champagne bubbles did actually work out ok. We did have a delay though since the photographer said 5 min to pack up stuff and leave again and then took pictures of a bunch of people including the bridesmaids and some guests. We ended up standing around looking out of place for a while and poor brian was holding the door to my dad's white buick for a while like he was a limo driver and everyone wondered what was going on.

After that was all settled we did get to Cantigny and I will write more about that later since this is a ginormous post.

 


Closing Time
Me
[info]theprotagonist5
Warning - long post, skip if you like...

I closed on the sale of my condo this past Friday. I lived there for just over 7 years. From March 02 through June 09. (technically I moved out in Feb, but sold in June) It was an interesting day as most are these days when I am encountering all kinds of new things I have not had contact with before.

First off I had forgotten that Steve's place is next to the tornado siren until it went off as I was trying to gather everything and leave. I didn't know whether to grab the cats and go hide in the downstairs bathroom or to leave because the sky really didn't look like a tornado was possible. Later I found out it was in the next county.

Then I had to go to Oak Park to get a transfer sale tax stamp in order to allow the process to complete. What it seems is that Oak Park wants its sales tax up front for the deal, charged to my credit card. $8 per 1K in sale price. Yea, that adds up fast.

That process didn't take as long as I had anticipated so I decided to go see the condo one last time and get any last mail that was in the mailbox. I got there and found most of my mail had been forwarded properly and the new buyers were doing their walk through of the place. A married couple was buying it and I couldn't see how they were going to stay in that small space while married, but they wanted a 1 br, so I was happy to sell it to them. I didn't want to crash the walk through or anything but I did want to see my place one last time. They were in the kitchen chatting when I walked in, the place I used to like to hang out the most too.  I remarked about how large the space felt without all the furniture in it, and they remarked at how small it felt to them. I mentioned that I couldn't change the space even if I wanted to. I showed them a few last things and then got out of their way. It was the last time I will ever be there and yet I was ok with it. I have been ready to move on for a while.

I then headed over to the closing title company a bit early which was a good thing since it was pouring rain and I had no change for the parking meters. I went to get a bottle of water from starbucks and pay the meter and the sky in the north was just black/purple. If there was going to be a tornado it was going to be here.

In the elevator going up to the title company I met my lawyer by chance, one of Steve's scout friend's dad. We were greeted by another forner resident of my building who happened to work there. (surprise) Then when they buyers arived with their lawyer we all got seated in an office/conference room with the buyers and their lawyer and realtor on one side of the table and me and my lawyer on the other.  I thought it was a bit silly from a strategic perspective but I can see that you do have to pass a lot of paperwork down the line.

My realtor was running late because she had to go pick up the lock box at the condo. When she arrived at least we had 3 people on my side of the table. I did not have very much paperwork to do compared to the buyers. They had about double. I had to sign a bunch of papers confirming that I had not sold it to anyone else and that nothing had happened to the property since the offer was made. We also had to go through all the line items of fees. It ended up costing 11K in fees to sell. That was 8.5% of the selling price. Ouch. When you calculate how much you will make selling your place, remember the 8.5% in costs, even with our realtors doing the minimum commissions thing, not 5%.

Then we realized that there was something missing. My property management company had not written the first right of refusal approval in the letter they sent over. So we had to call them and have them fax it over again, and then things were pretty complete. It took a while to get through everything, we arrived at 11 am and I left at about 2:30 pm. Luckilly they had cookies there. We tried to keep it light in conversation between forms and share good restaurants and places to go in Oak Park. The lawyer and realtor both lived there too.

Then very quickly it was over. Everyone was eager to get out of there and move on so we went. I got my check and so did the lawyers and realtors. We didn't even have a chance to shake hands or anything. I was ok with it though. I had some cash back, more than I had originally put down as a deposit (because I overpaid regularly).

Then I ran over to the florist in Forest Park, Tulipia and finailized a few things and then ran home. Steve and I had to get our marriage licence in DuPage that day too. I can't get a day off work very often with this crazy workload so we combined a bunch of things into one day. We found the licence process to be very quick and only $30 dollars. A lot less expensive than selling a house. We also got father's day gifts taken care of that afternoon and a trip to the bank for that condo money. We even snuck in a trip to target to finally get a full length mirror, I have needed one for 7 years and not had any space for it.

So it is finally over, the whole condo phase. I look back and think that the buying-moving in process seems like faded sketchy memories now, so I wanted to write it down. I do remember how excited I was at the time and how much I really liked the design of the condo. I also remember many of the rude awakenings as I discovered things like the window air conditioners, traffic, radiators and sirens are pretty loud at times as well as the neighbors in the beginning. I also found out how hard it was to carry groceries up 3 flights of stairs and find a place to park without getting a ticket. I solved most of those issues or adjusted over the years and even managed to make it a comfy place to live.

Looking back these are the few  things I would have done differently: 

1. Have people over more often - or stayed home and enjoyed my space
2. Pay more off on the principle monthly instead of buying clothing/decorating stuff that didn't last
3. I should have gotten a place with parking from the get-go, but it worked out in the end when I did get one.
4. I should have cleaned more often, since my allergies got a lot worse living there.

Otherwise I am pretty happy with my time there. I got engaged there. I had a lot of work experience while living there. I learned a lot about public transportation and walked more than I had ever before that point. I indulged in the things that a single girl can do and a married one might not. I indulged in vintage stuff collecting, in blogging, improv classes, flickr and internet fun. I also indulged in my own personal space and style, which will always be a combination now with Steve's. I got a cat and I slept in late and went to bed whenever I wanted. I read a ton of books and occasionally tried to cook. I was free of a lot of responsibility yet it seemed like a ton at some points. Mostly because of work. It was where I decided I wanted to be a marketer and really dug into my craft. It also really set in that I was flying without a net and my parents were not going to be there to "save" me if I screwed up. And this was the beginning of the rest of my life where I kind of had to start taking care of my parents and seeing how long I would still have them around.

All these things have changed now. The single city girl phase is over and it's time to learn to be "wifey". (joking) It is about trying to meld together living styles and families and goals. Yes, it is about giving up some of what I want, but I get so much happiness in return in general just being where I am that some of those nit picky things seem silly. Life is also a lot about trying to stay ahead of the curve with work even though doing new things gets harder and harder with the larger workload I keep getting. Sometimes with all the wedding planning and insane workload, I think being human instead of a robot is really holding me back. I should really be a robot for the job I have. It would work so much better. I will have to look into that. After the wedding in 3 weeks.

Crazy Busy Life
Me
[info]theprotagonist5
All of those of you with kids are probably laughing that I think my life is crazy right now. You probably still win the craziness schedule contest but compared to my simple single life this is a lot going on. Some summary below: 

This whole sell the condo thing is finally on the move. We met with a realtor that Steve knows through a business assn he works with last Tuesday and found out a lot of great detailed information about the market and the sales and terms that have been happening latley. I appreciated her research and we found out what we needed to do to polish up my place for listing. We set to work and after about 6 rubbermaid storage containers and 6 pieces of small furniture removed as well as a thorough cleaning and ouch up paint we took photos of the condo yesterday and signed all the required paperwork. The listing should be up soon but I really don't think we are going to get any lookers before the holidays. Hopefully it will sell in the spring but maybe we can get lucky.

I found a dress on Sunday at Priscilla of Boston. You may or may not know that I worked there on Saturdays as a second job back in 2001 while saving up money for my condo down payment. Boy has it changed since then. They never used to have sales or other brands and now they are a store with big rolling racks of dresses everywhere and a zoo of customers to boot. I got a Watters & Watters strapless sample dress that looked like it had never been worn for 85% off. Weird and lucky I know, but I managed to get it out of there before they changed their mind about the price. Now I just have to get it cleaned and hemmed and bustled closer to the wear date.

Classes are crazy. I don't think you are supposed to study just before class and still pass this class, but with all this going on that is what is happening these days. Suprisingly I am still doing ok. Maybe because I use math so much for work now.

Halloween was nuts too. We went to a party that Steve's friends had. I was an LOL cat and Steve was a heavy metal guy with a ridiculous wig. Everyone thought that was perfect for him.

I talked to florists yesterday and think red is the way to go, although I really like the yellow roses with the red edges. That may be tacky and too wild but something about gradients on flowers always gets me. More floral appointments this weekend to see what others come up with.

I did a reconnaissance mission at Macys yesterday too and found that Martha Stewart has taken over the store. That and no one registers for her stuff because it is not great quality. It makes it hard to register there since over 1/2 of all the house and home related departments are this cheap Macy's house brand with Martha's lisenced name on them. Pickins are slim and I didn't find much that wasn't gaudy or super modern. (same for cheap stuff vs wicked expensive)  I wish there was more middle ground.

I got my hair cut and it's way short. eep. Above my shoulders always freaks me out a bit and then it grows back in quickly and I forget.

Work is crazy and I have a lot to get done, so I shouldn't be posting this. I don't know how your companies are all weathering the recession, but ours has had some cutbacks but my department is still crazy busy. 

Big News
Me
[info]theprotagonist5
Hey everyone. I just wanted to post an update that I am 33 now and well things are different.

Steve proposed on Saturday (my birthday) and of course I said yes. It hasn't really quite sunk in yet.

I have only told my parents and brother and my friend Janice since she called right after.

So, I guess things are a changin.

I have to say that we have been very close for a long time and everything seemed logically like being engaged or married in our relationship except that we live in 2 different places. So, I don't really feel any different even though I know it is.

Steve didn't know what kind of ring to get so he borrowed his great grandmother's wedding band from his mom that I can wear until that is figured out. So, I look more married than engaged right now. Which is ok too.

I guess when you feel like something is just right it isn't really very suprising that this is happening although I did think he would wait longer because next month will be 12 months since we started dating. I also thought it might be hard to make a decision like this not having any other long term relationships to compare it with but Steve assures me this isn't a problem.

So, we are off... and have no answers to any of the weding related questions. We don't know when, where or how all this will come together and we probably won't decide for a while yet. There was a joke of getting married by the end of the year for the income tax benefit but alas that is a joke. There is a lot to combining lives and households that will take a long time since we both will have to sell our places and that won't happen quickly in this market.

So, I guess you might wonder if as a girl I am overjoyed and think this is the most important moment in my life. Well yes and no. I am happy and really quite relieved. By 33 you wonder if getting engaged or married is even possible anymore and after all the crazy relationships I have been in I also wondered if Steve would want this or run off like so many others. I am relieved that not only has he been the best in compatibility yet but that he wanted this too.

I am happy in a calm kind of way. Nothing with Steve requires any worry. He is the most dependable, consistent, reliable, trustworthy guy ever. And that isn't even commenting on his attractiveness, smarts or sense of humor. I feel extremley lucky and blessed at this point.

I also think while getting engaged is important, it may not be more important than getting my college degree or buying my condo or working my way up in my job. I am still committed to achieveing things in my life even after marriage and not letting it all go like my mom had to do. I would like to think of my work, family and relationship as equal accomplishments rather than favoring the disney fairy tale "getting married is eveything" view that past generations of women my family had.

That said, I really enjoy Steve's family and look forward to meeting more of them and bringing everyone together for a fun celebration in a year or so.  And I think we really got this right. I love Steve very much and think we will be very happy together, although probably happier after all the wedding planning is out of the way.

Catching up...
Me
[info]theprotagonist5

I have been reading some posts here today and trying to catch up on what is happening with everyone. It seems like everyone is located pretty far away now and it is almost hard to remember when we were all in the same city and (most of my friends here) were dancing swing at various places like rumors, willowbrook ballroom and fizz every week. Although I am not buying any houses, changing jobs, having babies or having any other drama in my life right now I should probably write something to sum up life latley. 

Steve and I are doing well. He is still as awesome as ever. I think he and I are probably as compatible as you can be and I think we both hope we are going down the same direction path type thing. We think we know where it will end up but not to jinx anything we will just wait and see. I think that might be my only small frustration, that I am ready to jump into the lets make it official phase and he is not quite yet. He thinks he will but it's just a bit fast to know forever type things when you haven't had a lot of experiences to compare this to nor maybe enough time to date and be super super sure. (it's been 11 months) I guess people's emotions move at different paces even if they are both very much in love. At least I feel good that we are happy together, we never really fight and we seem to have the same aspirations and goals in life. After all the ups and downs I have had in my dating life I feel lucky to have found him and that our relationship has grown into something serious like this and that it makes us both happy.

Otherwise work is ok allbeit a bit boring at times since things can be repetitive but hopefully the company and product will be stable for a while considering that there are no web marketing jobs out there right now, not even with my varied web marketing background. I am also trying to continue gathering more knowledge and am in a Statistics class on Thursday nights at Triton (community) college. I know it's hard to remember college but back then I studied education and had no purpose for a stats class. So, even though I know a lot of the concepts from every day use, I thought going back and taking the class would be helpful for now and for later if I needed it as a pre-requisite.

I am also happy that ChicagoWeekendFun.com is continuing to grow. Some days it is one step forward and two steps back but month over month I usually see growth. I just have to find time in addition to everything else going on to do research and post. I hope it continues to grow and be an interesting side project for a while, I really enjoy being in charge of my own site after working for a site and it is really exciting to see what happens new every day and figure it all out. These new blog ad networks have also made it worth just about anyone's while to start a site with no minimums as far as impressions or clicks go. This is really revolutionary in the online ad world. Some will drop out though, I have noticed a big drop in inventory latley, I hope a few good ones survive.

In other news Zeus is still here being as cute and lovey dovey as an 18 lb cat can be. He enjoys many belly-rubs and mornings watching the birds outside. It has been a year now since I adopted him and I really think he has taken all that time to adjust to the change in living quarters and having me as an owner. He is much more relaxed and social now than he was a year ago at this time.

Hmm...not much else happening really. I joke that Steve and I are the most consistent people in the world. Nothing super interesting or dramatic ever really happens to us. But then again, we kinda like being boring. We are going to go see "Turn of the Century" at the Goodman on the 24th (with Jeff Daniels in it of all people) and Robin Williams Standup Comedy at the Chicago Theater on the 27th. (my Bday, ack! 33) Of course I will blog about both on CWF. We also will be heading out to his folks lake house in Indiana one last weekend to put the boat away for the winter soon. (did I mention I have 3 gallon ziploc bags of Indiana picked bluberries in my freezer?) Otherwise, his mom continues to try and teach me to cook as we have the opportunity, and my parents continue to let me make a mess of their kitchen cooking on Sundays when Steve, Scott and I come over to visit. Somehow cooking and working can't happen on the same days though...too much stress there. (that is why I avoided it for so long!!)

In other people's news, Lisa D had her second baby Rachel and Janice is pregnant with her second child due in February. I can't wait to see all the holiday cards this year. Steve and I should do one with all 3 cats just so we don't feel left out. I have posted a few pix on here of Amy and DJ's baby Zoe and she is doing well at 6 months also. It's just baby crazy right now... well not with me specifically...

Anyway, I hope that is a telling update and that everyone else is having a fun fall and  that things are going well.


My International Life
Me
[info]theprotagonist5

I was someone not much interested in the world beyond my town growing up but as an adult I am finding that my life crosses paths with information, entertainment, work and design from all over the world every day. I find it interesting that not only do we do this all the time, it's almost not a big deal anymore that we are all so interrelated. Here are some recent examples: 

1. I am actually on the phone with Singapore right now while we sort out some info on an international campaign. I also get to call London later. International media has begun to become a bigger part of my job and it's interesting and cool. The media properties right now are all across Asia. The previous one was all across Europe. Pretty cool.

2. I have been listening to the live "Swell Season" concert online at NPR at work to block out all the noise chatter when I am crunching data and Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova are from Ireland and the Czech Republic. It is interesting to hear his Irish accent and her Czech/Irish accent in the concert when they talk between songs. In the car these songs are great to sing along to. Listen to the interview and concert here

3. Eddie Izzard is coming to town this week and Steve and I are going to see the show on Thursday and Friday. A few upper corner balcony seats are still available online at Ticketmaster, get them quick before they sell out!. Eddie of course is from the UK and likes to say he is British European. (kind of like I'm polish ukranian american?) His humor and standup shows have influenced me in a much more positive way about global relationships and cultural uniqueness. I want to find out what it is like to live, work and be a part other places. All the differences are interesting and sometimes shed light on how odd we are in comparison too if you think about it. I have bought a fair amount of stuff from UK Ebay that isn't available here. It is probably also worth mentioning that my favorite TV show has been TopGear which I discovered because Eddie was on it. I have found access to all the episodes and bought a good number of DVDs and books from Amazon UK from TG. (not to mention the Stig T-shirts from the UK for my brother and the region free DVD player)

4. As per always Steve and I are thinking of going to France for a Vacation. I know the currency conversion isn't in our favor, but his brother lives there so there has to be a cost benefit there and we don't know how many years he will be there. Steve even plays online mporg (?) games online with his brother in France and other friends all over the country. I am glad I have my passport ready and Steve even got one too. This is still a very costly trip though, so don't be suprised if as far as we go is Indiana this summer if I have to keep fixing my car. Grrr...

5. I am still a fan of Flickr and the every day photos from all across the world. You can learn from flickr. I find it interesting that the photos, contacts and sometimes recipies I like aren't even from the US. 

6. All this is in addition to the fact that I drive a Swedish car, have furniture from Ikea, work on a Chinese (Lenovo) computer, buy clothes made in China and other low cost manufacturing countries and email to keep in touch with people all over the world all the time. We used to think email was making the world a smaller place, when I think business is starting to really be global for all size companies and our relationships are following suit. It never ceases to amaze me that all these people in other countries not only speak english very well, but they also know our technology and business practices well. I feel lucky to represent my country and company when working with them and hopefully show both in a positive light.

Anyway, I just wanted to aggregate this for posterity since I was feeling kind of international today.

I hope all is well wherever you are today. 


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